Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:7
It is easy to be a cynic about politics. It seems that politicians are designed to promote cynicism. There seem to be very few politicians who are truly principles-based. A cynic believes that it is human nature to always act in self-interest and not with any form of altruism. A true cynic fails to believe in love. A true cynic does not trust.
A friend of mine asked if I would write about cynicism because she believes she lives with too much cynicism and is looking for help in overcoming it. So, my initial questions were, what is cynicism, and where does it come from? The dictionary definition of cynical is “contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives, or based on or reflecting a belief that human conduct is motivated primarily by self-interest.1 As I wrote already, it is easy to be cynical about politics.
But what about other areas of life? Where does cynicism come from? I believe that in some cases, it is learned behavior. If a cynical parent raises us, we may pick it up from them and assume that is the way life is. Beyond that, it seems that cynicism comes from experiences of hurt in which the victim has been let down, abused, or betrayed. Trust has been broken and broken to such an extent that it colors the rest of a person’s life. I am sure that child abuse can produce a cynical child. My parent, whom I should be able to trust, betrays my trust over and over. I learn not to trust. But cynicism is not the automatic response to being let down.
Joseph was a favored son of his father Jacob. While he never had a wonderful relationship with his brothers, he should have been able to trust them. But they sold him into slavery. He was abused. He seemed to be making headway in Egypt when his boss’s wife betrayed him and landed him in prison. While there, he befriended Pharaoh’s baker. Joseph faithfully interpreted his dream and asked to be remembered to Pharaoh, but again he was let down. He was abused. But he didn’t become cynical. Why? Joseph had a deep-seated faith in God. His confidence was in the most high God and so human disappointments were not enough to turn him into a cynic.
David stepped up as a very young man and saved Israel from the Philistines by slaying Goliath with his little sling-shot. That act got him promoted to the palace of King Saul. David did nothing but serve Saul with faithfulness and steadfast love. But then Saul decided to kill David because of Saul’s jealousy. David ran rather than fighting. Undoubtedly, David was not afraid of Saul in an all-out fight. He had taken down Saul’s enemy Goliath easily enough in addition to the lion and bear he had slain. Later in life, after being crowned King of Israel, David is betrayed by his own son. And yet, David did not become a cynic. Why? He trusted God deeply. In fact, Scripture describes David as a man after God’s own heart.
Even Jesus had to deal with the disappointment of betrayal. One of his close twelve disciples turned on him for thirty pieces of silver. Jesus knew what was in men’s hearts, that we are sinful. Does that make Jesus a cynic? No, I don’t think so. He also knew better than any of us that men and women are created in the image and likeness of God. We humans were created to be God’s sons and to share in his rulership under his authority. He was fully aware of human potential when redeemed by Divine sacrifice, his purpose in coming to earth in the first place. It seems odd to say this, but Jesus had faith in God. He trusted his Father. This is another example of the mystery of the incarnation. Jesus was fully God and fully man at the same time. As fully man, he had to trust God.
The point of these three stories is that abuse and disappointment don’t have to turn us into cynical, untrusting human beings. So, what is the answer to one who has been caught by cynicism? Love is the cure to thinking that everyone is only out for themselves. That’s right. Look at the characteristics of love. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The opposite of cynicism. Of course, we don’t just conjure up some love out of nothing when we need it. This kind of love, agape love, comes from God alone. Love is what drove Jesus to his mission, the ultimate altruism, to die for us. Recognizing God’s love for us overrides anyone’s abuse and betrayal. His steadfast love and faithfulness are overall. He is the promise keeper.
This doesn’t require us to become naive. Scripture is rife with teaching to be wise and discerning. Spend some time meditating on Proverbs, and you learn to recognize the fool and the wise man. Clearly, there are some people (the fools) to whom you should not entrust yourself. But recognizing that a fool is a fool and a wise man is a wise man does not a cynic make. In fact, it makes one a wise man.
So, what do I recommend to a person do who finds themselves being too cynical?
- Heed Romans 12:1-2. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind through the Word of God. Gain a view of life that is consistent with God’s word. That view is a view of faith and love that trusts God and fears God above all else.
- If you know people who have abused you or let you down and caused you great hurt, forgive them. Do not allow their failures to color your life and future. Color your future with God’s steadfast love and faithfulness. Pray for your “enemies” so they too may come to know the steadfast love and faithfulness of God in Christ. Bless them and do good to them.
- Appreciate the sovereignty of God who turns those things that were meant as evil (and we may have understood them that way too) into good things. He has made it clear that all things (including those things we understand as evil) work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose, which is to conform us to the image of Christ.
