Is same-sex attraction unchangeable?

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? ² By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? ³ Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴ We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

⁵ For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. ⁶ We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. ⁷ For one who has died has been set free from sin. ⁸ Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. ⁹ We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. ¹⁰ For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. ¹¹ So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

¹² Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. ¹³ Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. ¹⁴ For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

¹⁵ What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! ¹⁶ Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? ¹⁷ But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, ¹⁸ and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. ¹⁹ I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

²⁰ For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. ²¹ But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. ²² But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:1-23

I shouldn’t have to say this, but my ultimate authority is the Scripture in all matters of faith and life. That means that the Scriptures dictate the doctrine I believe in and how I conduct myself in all areas of my life. Am I saying I am 100% in sync with the Scriptures? No. I confess I am not all the time. That is, however, my aspiration. So, when approaching a topic like same-sex attraction, my authoritative source is the Scripture.

In the two thousand years of Christian history, there has never been a question regarding the morality of same-sex attraction (SSA) and homosexual conduct until the twenty-first century. The church has always understood that such feelings and actions are outside the realm of righteous behavior. Same-sex attraction and homosexual conduct have always been identified as sinful.

One of the recent arguments by the LGBTQ community is that “I was born this way” and “I can’t change.” These positions are incorrect. I have two arguments against the position. The first, which I will state and not take time to develop, is the fact that many people who have led the gay lifestyle have come to know Christ and have been delivered from their previous sinful homosexual conduct and from SSA. I will only mention one example in this article, that of Rosaria Butterfield. You can hear her story on YouTube here, here, and here. There are many other stories that you can find with a little honest Googling.

The second argument is the teaching of Scripture. Those who accept the authority of Scripture over our emotional feelings of compassion and concern find all homosexual conduct to be sin. Stated more broadly, all sexual conduct outside a monogamous heterosexual marriage is sin. This position that homosexual conduct is sin is founded on several Scriptures, such as Leviticus 18:22-24, Romans 1:26-28, and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. (There are lots of others) One can only arrive at a different conclusion if one applies some tortuously twisted exegetical interpretation of these passages.

There is another question that has come to the fore in the past few years that is a more nuanced question and answer. What if I have SSA but remain celibate? I have not sinned, have I, since I didn’t participate in a homosexual act? There seems to be some definite difference of opinion among believers on this one.

Let me define what I understand same-sex attraction to be. It is an attraction to the same sex as you with a desire for sexual relations with that person or persons. The word “desire” could have the word “lust” substituted in the last sentence. Did Jesus have anything to say about illegitimate lust?

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ ²⁸ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 

Matthew 5:27-28

This passage obviously refers to heterosexual lust, but it is lust nonetheless. The point Jesus is making is that it is not just the outward physical act of sexual intercourse with a non-spouse that constitutes the sin of adultery, but the lust of the heart for illegitimate sex constitutes sin. It is a logical and necessary conclusion that lust for a same-sex relationship, whether consummated physically or not, is also a sin.

Where does this unnatural attraction come from? Of course, some want to claim they were born this way, and it can’t be changed, so how can it be sinful? It’s God’s fault. He made me this way. I can’t prove whether or not a person is born with SSA, but I do know the origin of these unnatural attractions. The origin is the sin of Adam which we commonly refer to as original sin. We all inherit Adam’s sin at birth. This sin, I will refer to it as indwelling sin, affects every aspect of our person. It affects our minds, our desires, our view of morality, our intelligence, and any other dimension of human life you can identify. Theologically, this is referred to as total Depravity; every part of us is depraved via Adam’s sin. In this case, it affects our sexual desires and then our notion of personhood, “I am a homosexual.” That becomes one’s identity. The problem is homosexuality is an act and/or a heart disposition, not an identity. Our identity is a human being made in the image of God as male or female. Our sexual attractions are broken and twisted through indwelling sin. We are broken and twisted by indwelling sin in multiple ways; this is true of all of us, not just those in the LGBTQ+ community.

The title of this article is “Is same-sex attraction unchangeable?” Now that we have seen that this unnatural attraction is sinful and comes from original indwelling sin, the question can be restated as “Is a sinful heart unchangeable?” Can human beings overcome sin?

Paul, in the text above from Romans chapter 6, makes it quite clear that all sin can be overcome. It requires that we understand what Christ has done for us and our union with him. If you struggle with any sin, spend many hours reading, praying over, and meditating on Romans 6. I don’t have space enough to unpack all of Romans 6, so you need to feed yourself on this portion of God’s word to understand how you can overcome all sin in your life. I am not saying we can come to sinless perfection in this life, but I am saying sin cannot have dominion over you and control you.

One helpful way to approach this is to substitute a particulate sin in the text when the generic word “sin” is used. For example:

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in homosexuality that grace may abound? ² By no means! How can we who died to homosexuality still live in it? 

Romans 6:1-2 modified

You can substitute various sins and see the practicality of this approach. Try it with adultery, murder, greed, gluttony, same-sex attraction, etc. Do it with the whole chapter. Those who profess to be a practicing gay Christian are committing the error Paul is pointing out here. They think that when they continue in their homosexual conduct, they are making God’s grace appear even greater. Paul adamantly refutes that thinking. “By no means.”

So, what is Paul’s solution for those who want to follow Jesus but find themselves slaves to their unnatural desires? Union with Christ. Also stated as being “in Christ.” Paul, in verses 5-10, lays out the logical argument of our union with Christ and its implications. Due to our union with Christ, we died with him and rose to new life with him; therefore, death and sin have no more dominion over us. He then gives us our imperative. Take account of the facts of your union with Christ in his death and resurrection and conclude that you died with him and rose with him. When you died, you died to sin; therefore, you are no longer a slave to sin (homosexuality, etc.)

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. ¹³ Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. ¹⁴ For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

Romans 6:12-14

Grace then becomes not an excuse to sin but the power to not sin.

How do we “not let sin, therefore, reign” in our bodies? Through repentance. Some believe God should heal them of their sin. The cure for sin is not healing but repentance. The teaching in the “gay Christian” community is faulty. It fails to recognize that even the desire for unnatural and unlawful sex is sin.

So the question as to whether or not SSA is unchangeable is clear in Scripture. Since SSA is simply a deeply engrained sin pattern, to deny that it can be undone is to deny the gospel. Jesus came to set the captives free. The greatest captivity humans have is captivity to sin.

Fellow believers, do not be deceived by the faulty teaching of “gay Christianity,” which is not Christianity at all but a false gospel. Stand with the truth of God’s word that all sin can be overcome by God’s word and God’s Spirit. It’s not always instantaneous, and it’s not always easy, but it is always promised.

When sharing the gospel with your gay friends, hold out promises of freedom more than condemnation. Honestly, I believe those bound by sin know they are in trouble, but they may be blinded to it now. We best serve our LGBTQ+ friends by loving them as human beings created in the image of God and exercising hospitality with them. Don’t get in a hurry to convert them and force the gospel on them. Pray for them a lot. I mean a lot! Then be a friend. When God opens the door, discuss the Bible and who God is. If they show any interest, read the Bible with them and let them discover God for themselves in Scripture. This is where we must be reminded that it is the work of the Holy Spirit to reveal Jesus and to convict of sin, not ours.

I think the biggest hurdle for most Christians who would like to see the LGBTQ+ community come to Christ is the fact that we don’t love them. Jesus does, and we should. But I honestly think most of us have other deep emotional reactions and grieve the Holy Spirit when he would want to use us to love them as Jesus does. Most of us have some serious repenting to do from our unloving hearts toward this LGBTQ+ community.

Back to the title, SSA is changeable because of the work of Jesus that has been done on their behalf.